The Tampon Revolution

* Warning this post contains the word tampon. It may offend some people who don't use them.

Since the birth of our third child I have once again been reaquainted with my friend - the tampon. The little white personal hygiene item has been a subject of conversation among my fellow bloggers and it got me thinking if I could redesign them, what would I do? So here goes it...

bigwords's Top 7 Ways To Modernise Tampons

1) First off, the colour is all wrong. White? Really, who came up with that bright idea? I am thinking black or glow in the dark would be more fitting (ahem fitting, get it?) And you know what they say: "Once you go glow in the dark..." My friend Mrs Woog came up the bright idea of a range of faux fur ones. Brilliant she is, just brilliant!

2) I have also considered perhaps a range of tampons with the faces of famous people on them. There's the obvious David Beckham, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Tiger Woods (get it, hole in one) and my personal favourite Matt Damon. And then there's the not so obvious Grant Denyer (he's a little white dude), George Bush (except he made more messes than he cleaned) and there's alway Eddie Maguire (they don't call him "Eddie Everywhere" for nothing).

3) And sticking with that theme, you could personalise your tampons with pictures of say a cork or a finger or perhaps (and this would be my favourite) with your husband or lover's picture. Great Mother's Day gift idea! You can only imagine the joy on your sister-in-law's face when she opens up her personalised meds at Christmas lunch. Perhaps you can't come up with a Kris Kringle idea or a gift for your kids' teachers? The opportunities are endless.

4) Then there's the shape. V-shaped could be handy or ribbed? Maybe just penis shaped at least there'd be a couple of balls to get it out easier. Have I gone too far? Nah.

5) Personally, I would also love it if my tampons were packaged in designer leather bags which could also be used to carry my lipstick. You'd have to be careful not to mix up the lipstick and the tampon though. Don't laugh, this is possible if you'd had too many champagnes and it's a dark toilet. I know people who have accidently put them upside down. And man it's tricky to get a tampon out without access to the string.

6) That brings me to the colour of the string. Is there not a more obvious colour? How about a nude string or a string made of black hair? And seriously, do they really have to be THAT long? I know vaginas come in different shapes and sizes, but that is one mighty long string!

7) And lastly, if you can find a way to make them vibrate then I do believe YOU WILL BE A ZILLIONAIRE. "Putting the fun, fun, fun back into periods".

Do you have any design ideas?


* I would like to thank the magnetic Mrs Woog, CEO of Woogsworld, and the delectable Beth of Baby Mac for inspiring me for this blog post. As most good ideas, this one started in a little bar and involved a too cool for Sydney waiter who was forced to listen to tales of a group of women who were meeting in the said bar to celebrate their award winning tampon designs. This then extended to a Twitter discussion, which in turn got me thinking about this blog post, which in turn might lose me some followers, but hopefully gain me some others. Thanks!

The Debrief

Whenever there's stories in the media about men suffering from depression, quite often there are comparisons with women and statements like the following made: "Women don't suffer in silence as they talk so much more about their feelings than men".  I don’t think that is necessarily true. In fact, I know it’s not. This isn't a blog post about who suffers more of less. This is not a battle of the depressive sexes. This is an observation I have recently made about myself. And I know there are many other women also like me. So many women quietly going about their days, not reaching out.

When I was younger I would talk to anyone about my feelings. If I was sad, or struggling with something, I would tell someone. It was normal to spend Friday nights propped up at a bar somewhere, beer in hand, dissecting my and my girlfriends' lives. I had lots of friends from different walks of life who I would see at regular intervals depending on my moods and needs. There were work friends, uni friends, high school friends and even a few friends from my primary school days. I do believe we all talked a lot, all of the time. The debrief was a regular event.

I'm lucky, I have an amazingly supportive, hands-on husband who I share a lot, but he's not a woman and sometimes I want to talk about him, not to him! As I grow older, my friendships change. The number of people I see regularly has dramatically declined. The time I get out of the house, without my three children in tow is minimal. The time I spend talking to others about my feelings or struggles or hopes has diminished. Partly, I believe that is why I've taken to blogging, but even then there's things I do not want everyone to read. And when I do get time to myself I either want to see a movie or spend time with a friend laughing, not complaining.  

I still see my girlfriends, but many of them also have children or, if they don't, I generally have my children with me. Anyone who has kids, or has friends with kids, know it is virtually impossible to carry-on a conversation from the beginning to end without interruptions. Children are not conducive to deep and meaningful discussions. And to be honest with you, I always find it easier to open up after I've had a couple of wines and you can't do that when you have to bundle three kids into the car and drive them home.

I am so busy just getting through the day. Kindy drop-offs, freelance work, cleaning, you know the deal. It really doesn't leave much time to call someone on the phone for a long chat, as us women are apparently meant to be doing all the time. I do believe as my kids get older and start school that I will once again find those moments to spend quality time catching up with girlfriends and the floodgates will open. I will once again over share. And I hope others over share with me. 

What I would like to see is a recognition that women at home with small children and those at home without them, yet surrounded by people who are, are most probably not talking as much as some people believe; that they are feeling isolated and alone. That depression among women is probably much higher than people admit. 

I am not depressed, but I have my share of lows. I am also not the wonder woman some friends have labeled me. Not in those exact words, but many have made passing comments lately about how I take things in my stride, how I make parenting look easy. "How do you do everything that you do?" I've been asked a lot of late and it makes me uneasy. My answer is always the same. I smile and say: “Oh man, I have no idea. I’m not that special there’s a lot of people who do a lot more than me” and then I change the subject. But I do know. I don't do anything well - just a lot of mediocre. I struggle a lot. I don't spend much time with other people except my family. I cry quietly when no-one is looking. I hold my face in my hands over the steering wheel while my kids scream in the back seat and I wonder how I will get through the day without rolling into the foetal position. Although I am lonely at times, I am not alone. I know many other mothers going through exactly the same frustrations. I just don't talk about it with anyone. As they don't. 

I recognise the facial expressions of other mums who are having a tough time of it, I try to ask if all is ok, but as quickly the question comes out the kids rush into the room and distract us. The time passes. 

So, mothers out there vent away. This is a safe place. We can read each other's comments while our kids are asleep. We can reach out to each other and know that we are not alone, that we are all at times trapped in our domesticity. That while we no longer have the luxury of time to chin wag with our friends, those times will come again. We may have to teach ourselves how to open up again, but it won’t take long. 

Leave a comment if you feel comfortable, I'd love to hear how you’re coping.


If you do think you are suffering depression then today is the day to reach out for help. Please click on this link to Beyond Blue, your happiness is important.

The Westfield Give Ability Day Event

*This is a Nuffnang sponsored post for Westfield's Give Ability Day. 

On Saturday the baby and I went to Westfield Marion to take part in the Westfield Give Ability Day fundraising event. As we wandered around the centre we did a lot of people watching and we ate a lot of glazed nuts.

Glazed nuts you might be asking? Why glazed nuts? Well, the team at Charlesworth Nuts were doing live nut glazing demonstrations as part of day’s events and seeing that I love nuts I was beyond excited. I even think the four teenage boys I saw wearing Hungry Jacks’ party hats were excited!

This was the first Give Ability Day event for Westfield and it’s raised money to help make the lives of kids with disabilities a little easier. All of the money raised at the Marion event, that is 100 per cent, went to a great service provider, Can:Do 4 Kids. The charitable group, based at Hove and Modbury North, provides free services to SA children who are blind, deaf or sensory impaired.

I stopped and chatted to some of the wonderful people at Can:Do 4 Kids and they said the Westfield Give Ability Campaign was a fantastic initiative to not only raise money the group so desperately needs, but it also helped raise its profile among the local community.

For those people who took part in the day’s events like talented artist Lucy Bonnin, the players from the Adelaide Thunderbirds and Adelaide United, the volunteers who collected money and the people who put some money in the collection tins you should be proud. If you didn’t make it to Westfield then you can always send a donation to Can:Do 4 Kids at any time. It does amazing work and needs all the support it can get. Check out its website, www.cando4kids.com.au to find out more about what they do to help kids. With limited government funding and an increase in waiting lists, it needs our support to continue delivering services including early intervention, occupational therapy, speech pathology, research and training.

Help me to win a New Ford Territory for a Year and $5,000

When the Kidspot Top 50 Bloggers list was announced a group of us decided what better way to tackle the competition challenge than to go on a virtual road trip together in our stylish, economical and super comfortable New Ford Territory (it even has a handbag and wine bottle holder). We decided to tackle some of the most pressing matters of long haul drives. Each of us picked a topic and got blogging. Jump in your car and travel Australia with us, by driving to each of our blogs. Nikki at Styling You compiled a list of fashion must haves, Carly from Tune Into Radio Carly put together the ultimate road trip song list, Jodie from Mummy Mayhem vlogged about it in a way only she can, Bern from So Now What wrote a post about road hazards and I thought it'd be a good idea to put down some road rules.

So, here goes it....

bigwords Top 10 Road Trip Rules

1) What goes on tour, stays on tour. This is the most important road trip rule. When there's a bunch of chicks in a car there are going to be embarrassing moments, someone will score a dude in a front bar, someone (most likely me) will vomit out the car window and without a doubt someone will flash their boobs in a public place. These stories will not leave the group, they can not be dragged out and used against you at another time, they stay on tour.

2) If you fart in the car, you must wind down the window and blame someone else. It is your duty to feign innonence, unless of course you are very proud of your horn noises and want everyone to cheer.

3) You must not always be fumbling for your purse, or hiding in a toilet, when it's time to pay for petrol. Don't be a cheapskate. If you do not pay for petrol you will pay for beer.

4) Know when to stop playing car games. There is nothing worse than someone who wants to continue playing eye spy or the number plate game, well after everyone else is bored with it. Sometimes there needs to be quiet.

5) And that brings me to music. Everyone should get a chance to contribute to the song list. Ok, I might despise Nickelback, but I will hold my tongue if it means I get to listen to Guns N' Roses.  Well, not just listen, I must also screech the lyrics in my best "Axl Rose" voice.

6) No, you can eat egg or tuna sandwiches in the car. They smell. That. Is. All.

7) On road trips it is ok to pretend your name is Shelly and you train camels for a living. You are on a road trip, it's the perfect opportunity to create a fantasy world for yourself. Saying you are a married, mum of three from Adelaide, just doesn't have the same ring about it. Of course, I would have absolutely no desire to slip my wedding ring off and meet 18 year old football players, but I would like to pretend I used to sing back-up for Kylie Minogue during her world tours and now I design Oroton hand bags.

8) Investing in a GPS would be a good thing. I am not afraid to say this, but women and maps can be a recipe for disaster. There is a difference between Dandenong and the Dandenong Ranges... trust me.

9) Bathing every day is optional. So is eating anything of nutritional value.

10)  Do have fun, let your hair down and enjoy not having to listen to the kids screaming in the back seat, even if it does mean having to listen to someone snore or singing along badly to 80s music.

So, buckle up and drive on over to the other blog posts. You are more than welcome to join in on our road trip.

* This post is part of a competition to help me win a New Ford Territory and to be named in the Top Five bloggers in Australia. Please vote for me by clicking on the Kidspot Top 50 Bloggers badge on the top left of my blog page or by clicking on this link right here and then clicking on the like thumb on my profile page. Easy peasy!! Thanks so much x

The Westfield Give Ability Day

*This post is sponsored by Nuffnang for Westfield's Give Ability Day. 


bigwords is getting behind the upcoming Westfield Give Ability Day. With 1 in 14 Australian children living with a disability, the national fundraising initiative will raise money to help make the lives of children living with a disability, and those of their families, a little easier.

The retailer’s been giving money for therapy equipment, respite, early intervention and education programs for a number of years now. This new campaign will see even more money donated to local children's disability service providers.

The cool thing is your local Westfield will give all the money raised to a children’s disability service provider in the neighborhood. This means when you donate in your local store it will help make a difference to families in your community.

So, why not head over to your local store on Saturday May 21, in my case it's Marion, and flex your "give ability" muscles. Reach into your pocket and contribute to the Give Ability campaign and help kids with disabilities living in your community and those caring for them.  I am going to pop into the Marion store to see how it all works. Let me know if you’re going and we’ll grab a coffee.

The Longest Day Ever

I do believe yesterday was the longest day ever. I know this because when I was standing in the check-in line at the airport trying not to vomit, time had slowed almost to a stand still. I say almost because I am sure the ground was swaying. Or perhaps my internal organs were trying to escape the fifteen litres of champagne I'd consumed the night before at the Kidspot Top 50 Bloggers cocktail party.

This journey started with a dawn dash to the airport. I exited from my car and skipped across the car park, happy and carefree. I was as light as a feather. I was powering along excited about my trip to Sydney. I had left my luggage in the car. I should have realised then the universe was trying to tell me something. It was trying to tell me to stay at home and not to drink 25 bottles of champagne.

Anyway, I got to Sydney (after waking myself a number of times snorting in my sleep during the plane ride). I checked into my hotel. It was gothic chic and little bit porno, without the porn. Then I headed straight to the new Zara shop. This is when I was given my next "you should've stayed at home" sign. I was trapped in this alternate universe of dodgy clothes and crazed women grabbing at dresses and elbowing other women out the way to get their sweaty hands on finger-print stained silk dresses. I knew I was going nutty when I found myself caressing a pair of lurid green, skinny jeans and actually thinking they would look good my size 16 arse. I ran screaming from the store: "Kick me in the shins, to distract me from the pain in my eyes from staring at bad florals and too many leopard print dresses". My eyes burning, I wandered around the streets of Sydney like a crazed, paranoid, highly strung, middle-aged woman. Oh wait, I am a crazed, paranoid, highly strung, middle-aged woman.

The only way to fix that problem was to go to a cocktail party and drink the room's weight in champagne. Well, that's what I thought at the time. I had one of those glasses of champagne which never ended. The waiters got nervous when they could see my glass draining to the halfway mark and would scurry over and quickly refill my glass. Next time I might suggest that they instead intravenously connect me to a barrel of bubbly.

There was much animated conversing with other bloggers who I am in awe. There was much guffawing. I was ON FIRE. I was talking A LOT. I was not a good advertisement for responsible drinking. I was practically pouring whole bottles of champagne down my throat every ten minutes. I even ran down cobbled streets and spent much time in an uber cool, little bar. And then I even somehow got from that bar to a another not so cool pub. I say somehow because I actually have no recollection of how I got there. I do have a vague memory of being told it was probably time I went home as perhaps I would regret my morning flight. I refused. I purchased a keg of cider, drank three sips and was then bundled into a cab back to my porn pad.

After a five second sleep I was awake and bounding with energy. I was surprised by how great I felt. I was congratulating myself on managing to meet my fellow bloggers in the lobby to share a cab to the airport. I WAS STILL DRUNK. I was on a slippery slope down to the depths of hangover hell. I had embarked on what I now refer to as The. Longest. Day. Ever. Pretty much the entire day can be categorised as - the moment I nearly vomited in the taxi, the moment I nearly vomited at the check-in desk, the moment I nearly vomited in my plane seat. The moment I nearly vomited in my car. And the moment I walked in the door and had to resume parenting duties and nearly vomited on the baby.

This story would be bad enough as is, but my husband, three girls and I had a big decision to make. It was a momentous day in our world. We finalised the purchase of our new home. I had conversations with our banker, the building inspector and the shonkiest real estate agent in the universe. I nearly vomited on all them too. While my husband celebrated with a nice glass of wine. I fought the urge to vomit on him.

It was officially the longest day ever. And the last time I will ever drink alcohol. *ahem*

PS: It followed what was a fantastic evening hosted by the fabulous Kidspot team who so kindly flew me to Sydney. A meeting of some of the funniest and most generous women I've met. The most fun I've had on a Monday night in a long time. It was a celebration of Australia's rich and vibrant blogging community. It is also a competition. Pity it's not a champagne drinking competition as I would have won for sure. Alas it's not, so if you get a moment can you please vote for me in the Top 50 Bloggers competition.

The Mother's Day Movie

In recognition of Mother's Day this week I made a little movie about mothering. It's the first in what I hope will become a regular series - So You Want To Be A Mum.

I hope you enjoy it!



To all you mothers out there - Happy Mother's Day! xx

The Big News Week

It's been a week of news block busters. Not only did we SELL OUR HOUSE, but there was a Royal wedding, Australian television's night of nights, Osama bin Laden was killed and there was an incredibly funny interview with a disgraced football player agent. This week I have missed being a journalist. I have missed the buzz of a newsroom.

So, this week I bring you bigwords' news observations - the Big News Week.

1) I'll start with the one we've all been discussing. Yes, it is possible to look like a deer in the headlights.

And from the looks of things, Princess Beatrice is quite fond of wild life.

2) Ian Thorpe is English. I know, I know. I really thought he was Australian. Well, he was the last time I heard him speak. However, it seems I was wrong. He was just "putting on" that Aussie accent of his. You see, when being interviewed by Channel 7 after the "big event" I swore he sounded like he too had been educated at Eton College. I know it's possible to pick up a little local inflection, but Thorpey you sounded like a knob.

3) And speaking of knobs, I'm so glad I didn't get a glimpse of Ricky Nixon's python when watching images of him cavorting around a teenage girl's hotel room in his boxer shorts. Apparently, he was there to offer guidance and "help". I gather he must be a man of old-fashioned values and thought it time she learnt how to separate the whites from the colours. It is the only plausible explanation I can come up with for why he was wearing no clothes. It definitely explains the white powder on the desk?

4) From one football tragic to another. Ah, Brendan Fevola. I think it's great you are trying to get your high rolling, booze swilling, womanising, arrogant life back on track, but it was sad to hear of how much of your fortune you've gambled away. Your estranged wife looked quite upset about it all too. Well, I think she was upset. I have a feeling what wasn't gambled, was injected into her forehead. Maybe you should have taken her with you to the casino, she has the perfect poker face.

5) And that brings me to the Logies. What a night of fun. A spectacle. All of Australia's television elite in one room. There were some surprise winners, namely Karl Stefanovic. And some deserved winners like Chrissie Swan. But, my favourite winner of the night was Firass. He was so humble. I particularly loved the part when he declared his smooth love making skills in his acceptance speech. I am amazed he was wearing a white suit. I really think a mirrored suit would have been better for him, that way he could've looked at his own reflection when giving himself a hand job in the toilets.

6) Speaking of fashion, there were some shockers, lots of boobs, some bad hair and a lot of plastic surgeons would've been proud of their work. I think instead of asking celebrities who made their dress, they should be asked who redesigned their face. There was one stand-out for me though, because of her natural gorgeousness. This woman I have admired since Love My Way. I think she is stunning. Asher Keddie if you are reading this - I would turn for you. Except, I fear I may have to mud wrestle Mrs Woog for the opportunity!

7) The thought of us rolling around in the mud has naturally taken me to this week's biggest news story - the killing of Osama bin Laden. It's not because he was hunted down and found in a dusty, muddy looking compound. It's the reaction to the execution of this evil individual. It's the cheerleaders. I was feeling uneasy about the chanting and street party atmosphere, but I am not American. I did not know anyone who was killed. I can not pass judgement. But when I saw people in the crowd being thrown into the air doing cheers, like Bring It On, I almost gagged on my sandwich. At least I didn't see see any pyramid formations. I agree it was an historic day ( with a capital "H" as one US news commentator suggested), but it was not the place for double-claps and chants: "Yay for the U, S of A. Osama is dead. Yay, yay, yay. Goooooo America".


It was a huge news week. What stood out for you?