The Hot Cleaner

I was meant to be working the other day. I had a few articles near deadline and I was also writing my second short story for Round 1 of the NY Flash Fiction competition, consequently I had a severe case of writer's block. Normally when this happens, I clean something. Unfortunately for our nasty, filthy house, I also had cleaner's block. So, I googled images of other people doing housework. To be precise, I googled images of hot men doing housework. I thought the least I could do was share them with you, my loyal readers.

(this man LOVES dusting, he is loves feathers and I suspect he also loves men, but who said this post was just for the ladies!)

(Okay, this dude is dressed, but any man who vacuums is hot)

(scrub-a-dub-dub, a man in a tub)

(this man is a little tired, he may need to rest for awhile IN YOUR BED)

(this man will get up in the morning and wash the sheets)

(everyone needs a pool boy, even if you don't have a pool!)

(Reminds me, I need to give me hedge a trim...)

("mmmm, so what will I cook for dinner tonight?")

(He is very good with his chopstick)

(In my dreams Matt Damon does a lot of housework. A LOT!)

So, tell me, does a man who does housework turn you on? 

PS: Have you liked my Facebook Page? Please do, it'll only take a minute. xx http://www.facebook.com/bigwordsblog

The Birthday Edition

 (the Queen of Loo Paper on her throne)

Happy Birthday to bigwords, Happy Birthday to bigwords, Happy Birthday to bigwoooooorddss, Happy Birthday to me!! Yep, that's right. Today is bigwords' 1st birthday. Well, it's actually the blog's second birthday, but it wasn't until this time last year that I started blogging regularly (before that time I'd only written a handful of posts) and began my love affair with the international blogging community. 


It's been a massive year for me and this little blog. bigwords (now a dotcom - www.bigwordsblog.com) now has more than 400 followers, nearly 200 Facebook likers and over 1300 Twitter followers. It was voted in Kidspot Top 50 blogs, which also lead me to an expenses paid trip to Sydney and consequently one of the biggest hangovers I've EVER had. Blogging has also expanded my career opportunities and I now blog regularly for Kleenex Mums and the Happy Child website, as well as guest posting for other cool blogs both in Oz and overseas. It's seen me interviewed on tv, radio and in the newspaper and just this past weekend I was the closing address speaker at my first conference. It has also helped me expand my writing capabilities and I am hoping to complete my first novel next year. I just need an agent - anyone, anyone?


Most importantly, blogging has introduced me to the most amazing group of people. You know who you are. I'm not quite sure you know how much you mean to me and what you've done to lift my spirits. Man, I've cried A LOT and laughed EVEN MORE at some of your blog posts, comments and witty banter on Twitter. 


And for you, my fellow bloggers and the super amazing, cool, groovy, supportive readers of bigwords I want to thank you. I want to give you one of the coolest prizes I have EVER RECEIVED. Earlier this year, I won a prize.   Not only are my words now on the side of toilet rolls, not only did I win $500 which helped get me to the Aussie Blogger's Conference, but I won ONE YEAR'S SUPPLY OF TOILET PAPER. 


When I was thinking of how to mark this special occasion, I thought wouldn't it be cool if someone got to experience what I felt when a truck dumped a shit-load of loo paper on my doorstep? So, I got brave and asked the amazing people at Kleenex (namely the effervescent Melissa) if they would be willing to provide loo paper for my FIRST EVER giveaway. And they said YES!


So, for one lucky (Aussie or Kiwi) reader you will win A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF LOO PAPER, delivered straight to your door. Oh bugger it, seeing that it is also Kleenex Mums' first bday soon too - how about we give TWO LUCKY PEOPLE  A YEAR'S SUPPLY OF LOO PAPER EACH! 


That's right, two winners each to win a year’s supply, calculated as a roll per person x five in the house x 52 weeks equalling 260 rolls. It's then rounded up a bit, so for Kleenex Cottonelle Long Roll (which is the one with my words on the side) it comes to 288 rolls. That's 288 rolls of loo paper each, baby! 

So, to be in the running I need to know this - 


What is the most creative thing you would do with 288 rolls of Kleenex toilet paper? 


Also, if you are not following bigwords, subscribed (look on the left column to enter your email address) to bigwords or liking Bianca Wordley's bigwords on Facebook - please do. The same goes for liking Kleenex Mums on Facebook here and joining here.


If you want to enter TWICE, then please RT or Facebook share this post and then pop back to bigwords letting me know what you did and then give me another creative answer! 


Melissa from Kleenex and I are going to pick the two winners. The competition will be open until October 2, 2011. Winners will be announced on October 7, so be sure to also include a contact email/twitter handle so I can contact you.  


GOOD LUCK and THANK YOU for joining me in the bigwords' journey!! xx


PS: And a MASSIVE thank you to Kleenex

THIS COMPETITION IS NOW CLOSED

The Anticipation

In celebration of bigwords now being a dot com and turning one next week, I've planned a super cool giveaway! It's my first ever giveaway and it's a ripper! Stay tuned... oh, and while you're waiting you can now subscribe for email updates. Just check the sidebar and enter your email address. That way every new bigwords' blog post will appear in your inbox, as well as on Facebook and Twitter and your Google Reader and... and..... and.... gosh I'm excited!

The Breastfeeder

First rule of this blog post is no nastiness. No finger pointing. No fighting among each other. I'm about to discuss breastfeeding. I know I can see you reeling. I can hear you screaming: "step away from the computer!".

You see breastfeeding can be a minefield. I breastfed all of my three children until they were about 7mo old. They also had formula bottles out of a mixture of both necessity and convenience. Breastfeeding was the hardest part of having babies. Not only the actual act of breastfeeding, but the societal expectations surrounding it. I have never felt so much guilt about something - and I breastfed. I have many close friends who struggled, or were physically unable, to breastfeed. And before you get on your high horse - one of those friends was a midwife and desperately wanted to breastfeed but couldn't. She pumped. And like the others, who either pumped or could not pump, when they fed a bottle to their babies in public they could feel the judgement piercing them. I am a firm believer that while breast milk is best for newborns, those babies fed formula are also getting the nourishment they need. I am also a firm believer that a Mum's sanity is best for babies. If breastfeeding is causing anxiety or anguish, then bottle feed. A happier Mum, makes for a happier baby. Bottle or boob, both make for a healthy baby. I am a believer that you should not judge anyone who is doing their best. Doing what gets them through the day. Being a Mum is hard work. We need to support, not stab each other.

So, with that in mind, I think social media, like Facebook and Twitter, can be a tricky place to source information as there is a lot of judgement out there. A lot of people quick to push their agenda. For an exhausted, scared and worried mum, it can be a dangerous place. It can also be an amazing source of information and support. You just need thick skin. Unfortunately, for many women up with a screaming newborn with attachment issues, your skin is anything but thick. Getting helpful information quick can be hard. 

Now I've got that out of the way, let me explain what this is about. In a few days, I will be giving the closing address at the 2nd annual Lactation Consultants of Australia and New Zealand conference. Yep, that's right. I will be speaking at a conference in front of, I don't how many, midwives and other health professionals - all who are experts in the field of breastfeeding. How did this come about you may be thinking? Well, earlier this year I was interviewed in The Advertiser's (Herald Sun, Daily Telegraph equivalent) Weekend Magazine about how Mums are increasingly turning to the internet and social media for parenting information. An organiser of the conference saw the article and contacted me. She thought the topic would be of interest to attendees and asked if I would be interested in speaking. Sure, I replied. Then I got swept up in life and promptly forgot about it until last week. Now, to put it bluntly, I am shitting myself.

I am expected to stand in front of people for 45 minutes and talk about blogging, Twitter, Facebook and of course, my own experiences breastfeeding and how I sourced my information. I am so nervous I will mumble, get flustered, forget what I am saying mid-sentence, ramble on, tell jokes that aren't funny and bore people.

So, I decided I'd ask friends on Facebook, Twitter and my super-cool blog readers what you think I should say? How do you get most of your parenting information? How do your friends get their information? Do you think it's changed over the years? Do you think there are mixed messages regarding breastfeeding? What are the dangers of asking for help in the arena of social media? What are the benefits?

The Question

Recently I wrote a blog post about my own feelings of isolation as a parent. I asked others if they were feeling similar periods of sadness, frustration, loneliness or depression. I asked if the daily Ground Hog Day grind of motherhood was taking a toll on their self identity and I got a huge amounts of honest, raw and brave responses. Simply by asking bigwords' readers how they were feeling and giving them a safe, non-judgemental platform to talk showed to me how important it is encourage discussion.

Don't wait for the right moment, there isn't one. Today is the day. Reach out to someone you care about and ask them: "R U OK?". And then, this is the crucial part, listen.

So, as I've said before and I'll say again - R U OK?

For more information on R U OK Day click on this link. And if you need someone to talk to then please call Lifeline.

The First Week

I must apologise for my lack of blogging, but this week I started weight loss guru, Michelle Bridges' 12 Week Body Transformation program and to put it simply I AM SO HUNGRY AND EXHAUSTED I CAN NOT TYPE. My brain has only just enough energy to look after my three children (who are all sick, covered in snot and are not sleeping) and to print off the mountains of exercise and meal plans required to do this weight loss program.

I must also apologise for not including in this post my starting body measurements or my "before" photo as I was so shocked by seeing my half-naked self and seeing how wide my arse is that I decided I do not need any extra humiliation to spur me on. As Oprah would say: "I had my ah-huh moment". In my case it was more like a: "Who the fuck is that huge woman in that photo and why is she wearing those ghastly bathers?" moment.

Here's a few things I've learned this week:

1) Do not ask your husband to help you with your body measurements. He will get distracted by your boobs.

2) You must always look your worst in your "before" photo so you can look at it when you feel like eating a dark chocolate Cherry Ripe and a bag of hot chips.

3) You must clear out all booze from your house and not walk past the bottle shop when doing the kindy run so you don't feel the urge to stash cans of bourbon and coke in the pram and skull them on the way home so your husband doesn't find out. Same goes for bakeries and chocolate donuts.

4) When you go for your first walk and attempt to jog for part of it, make sure you have a sports bra which actually fits you and wasn't purchased when you were 10 kilos lighter. This would avoid having to hold your boobs while stumbling along the road, puffing and sweating like an old PR executive attempting to get all jiggy with the young journos at a Christmas Party. Also make sure your pants don't go up your arse, leaving you struggling to pull wedgies out of your bottom while attempting to simultaneously hold your boobs.

5) Don't be disheartened when you can not even do one sit-up. That's what recliner chairs are for anyway.

6) No matter how hard I've tried, tracksuit pants and runners are not sexy, nor are they cool, and wearing them all day in case you get the urge to do additional exercise does not work. Soon you will start wearing puffer vests in case you get the urge to buy a four wheel drive and talk loudly at the school gate about your children's new Swedish tennis coach.

7) And finally, going to bed at 8pm might take away the urge for late night snacks and make the days go faster, but it also shortens the time between killer work-outs and cardboard-tasting couscous and apple breakfast surprises.


I am now half-a-week into my 12-week program. I am one kilo down. I am going to smash this out of the park. And when I do, I promise I'll post that "before" photo right next to my new "after" photo.

Are you doing, or have you done the 12wbt program? Have you lost weight before? Do you have any tips for me to keep motivated?

The Rebel

Since I turned 38 (last weekend in case you missed it), I've become a rebel of sorts. I am deliberately being daring, naughty, breaking rules and flipping the bird at societal norms.

Take this for example. The recommended daily intake of wine is two glasses ( I don't know if that's true, but it works for me). The other night I went all out and consumed a whole bottle. Yep, a whole bottle of the stuff. I think I may have even opened (drunk) the second bottle. Well, it was my birthday and I thought it was the perfect opportunity to GO CRAZY.

Then, I let Miss 4 wag kindy. Yep, that's right. I asked if she'd rather stay home and play in the garden with her two sisters and eat ice cream in the sun OR if she'd rather have her tired (hungover) mother bundle everyone into the car and battle through the Royal Adelaide Show traffic to get her to kindy where she'd hold onto my leg and scream "please stay for another five minutes" while Miss 1 cried and Miss 3 demanded the other kids "go away" so she could play with their toys. Surprisingly, Miss 4 declined the opportunity to further her social skills and learn valuable educational life lessons and opted for the ice cream.

Then, I ignored the weight restrictions and went on a kiddie ride at the Show. Yep, that's right, I am finally tall enough to go on a ride and yes, there was a weight restriction (not really). In my head, the sign read: "People who have eaten two Dagwood Dogs, an ice cream, a donut and a bucket of chips are NOT allowed on the tea cup and saucer ride". Rules, shmules. I went anyway and I squealed like a pig. While the girls giggled and waved at my belly-laughing husband, I was yelling "stop the ride, stop the ride, I want to get off". I was scared the cup was going to spin off the tiny saucer and wipe out a whole section of terrified onlookers. When the ride stopped, one of the girls' cousins casually commented "man, your cup was spinning really, really fast". Yep, it was honey. I blame inertia (whatever that is).

And then, the final act of rebellion. Well, perhaps you could call it a little kinky. Let's just say it involved sex and fireworks. You see, every night from our bed we can see the Show's fireworks through our window. A bit of careful (flukey) timing and....

Have you done anything naughty lately?

The Celebrations

Phew, what a crazy, busy few days we've had. First, it was our middle girl's 3rd birthday. We took her to the Royal Adelaide Show so she could eat her weight in sugar, followed a lovely day with much-loved friends and family sitting in the sunshine. She was beaming the whole day - it made my heart sing.

And today it is double celebration - Father's Day and my birthday. I wrote this (10 Things I've Learned About Dads) for Twiggy as he is an amazing Dad. I don't know my own Dad, so Twiggy's well aware of the irony of having to share my birthday with Father's Day. So, this morning, because I am super wonderful, I have been up with the baby since 5.30am and have done the whole breakfast-in-bed thing for him.

But I can only share for so long and have since transformed into the Birthday Princess. Look at what my gorgeous Hubby got me for my birthday...

... a lime tree, a bottle of gin, tonic, fresh limes, smoked almonds, chocolate and cash to go shopping. He really does rock. What a cool person to share a celebration with.

To everyone out there struggling on Father's Day for whatever reason; hug your kids, call a friend and make a day of it. Celebrate for the sake of smiling. Big love x