Thursday, December 13, 2012
Be A Tiger, Not A Sheep
I'd be lying to say that I am not also driven somewhat by ego. I need the connection with others as much as much as I hope my willingness to share connects with you. I look at my stats and sometimes get caught up in the numbers. I look at my stagnant Facebook page numbers and question my ability to connect. I worry that somehow I am not sharing enough or giving enough of myself. I analyse my writing. Am I not good enough? I become the sheep and forget to be the tiger.
Then I stop. I breathe. I reevaluate why it is I started blogging in the first place. It wasn't for the site visits, it was because I felt like I was drowning. I had just had my third child and I felt disconnected from the outside world. I wanted something for me. I wanted to walk into a room and have something to talk about other than my children. I wanted to show my girls that women are fearless.
I've turned blogging into a vehicle to pursue a variety of new writing opportunities. It's provided me with a regular radio segment. And one day soon I will revisit my novel. Blogging has given me that drive and introduced me to so many people pursuing similar life ambitions. It's been a gift.
This coming year I want to turn my attention away from the pursuit of blog growth and instead focus more on my words. Be more mindful of what I publish. Not worry about the thoughts of others or care so much about my lack of "popularity". I will always fail if I judge myself against the success of others. I can not be creative if I spend time following in other's footsteps, I must leap in different directions. The only person I have to compete against is myself. I need to challenge myself and you the reader more.
The end of the year always brings with it much reflection. I refuse to be drawn into the stupid mummy blogger debate any longer. People determined to pigeonhole women who write - to dumb down the sharing of experiences. I hate the term. I refuse to be drawn into the ridiculous behind the scenes hate groups and woe is me bullshit that tears apart segments of the blogging community. I don't want to a part of all that nonsense. So much negativity and jealousy and game playing. People consumed by the numbers and the rules. People so consumed by fear, they forget they have a voice and a platform. They forget how lucky they are to be able to bring a variety of opinions into the forefront and instead spend their time bringing down others. What a waste. Blog brave.
A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of sheep. These words resonate with me.
Thanks so much for your comments. I really love that you're taking the time to tell me what you think x