I knew I was embarking on my biggest love affairs the moment I looked into their eyes. Smothered in my own blood, my babies looked into my soul with a knowing that only someone who owes their life to another can. They grew inside me. My body fed them and my heartbeat kept their hearts beating. With a simple touch to their faces, I started them on their journey of life, separate from my life force.
Something happened with all of my girls, when I touched their faces for the first time. As my fingers pulled away from their tiny cheeks, an invisible thread formed, keeping us forever connected, forever entwined. A silvery thread which winds from my fingers and my soul, to theirs. A thread which connects me to them.
Sometimes the thread pulls tight and I worry it may snap. Sometimes it’s wrapped around us, like the softest blanket, as we snuggle on the couch. The threads blow in the wind and glow like fireflies in the night. They twinkle, like the light that sparkles in my girls’s eyes.
My girls make me smile like no other. They make me laugh from the bottom of my belly. They look at me, like they’re looking into the ocean, content yet searching for something. I know they feel safe with my husband and I. To have that responsibility makes us stronger as people. We grow stronger with each milestone; with each day.
When I became a mother I didn’t know what to expect. I write here often about the tough days, I believe it’s important to talk openly about those moments. Parenting isn’t all cuddles and cookies. Parenting is a tough gig. But for every bad day there’s many miraculous moments. To say it is rewarding is an understatement. The moments keep you on track.
The moment their giggles turn guttural, making their whole body shake. The moment they climb to the top of the slide and hurl themselves down for the first time, their faces beaming with confidence and pride. The moment they blow bubbles in the bath, before lifting their soapy heads to wipe the water from their smiling eyes. The moment you hear their muffled snores as they fall asleep in your arms. The moment they touch your arm and say: “I’m glad you’re happy Mum”. The moment they read the words for the first time or say their first sentence or write their name. The moment they show you how they hop on one foot while rubbing their belly. The moment they say: “Pull my finger”. The moment they curl their fingers around yours. The moment they lick the stray chocolate from their lips. The moment they kiss you and profess their love. The moment they sit quietly beside me, just being. These are the moments.
It’s these moments that cut through the monotony. It’s these moments that cause the silvery threads to tug at my heart. The silvery threads that connect me to my children and my mother to me. The silvery threads that wind through the world connecting all Mums to their children.
What moments do you love?