At the moment I am thinking in lists – To Do lists, bullet points, top 10 ideas – you get the drift. I am finding full sentences, pondering and long wistful thoughts impossible. I have too much to do, my mind is darting all over the place. I am breaking my days into hourly tasks to try and make everything seem manageable. I am longing for some quiet times to fill my head with “I wish” and “I hope” rather than I must next do this and then this and then this and this and so on and so on. MAKE IT STOP.
So, tonight I decided I had to write a list, not of tasks, but of things I know. Here goes it:
THINGS I KNOW
- Carry on luggage is freeing.
- When Matt Lucas talks about writing comedy sketches you listen. Genius.
- You will always think a stick floating on top of the water is a crocodile, when swimming in Darwin hot springs.
- Jugs of Pimms taste best when sitting on the lawn.
- When you hear your husband snapping at the children it makes you feel better about your own snapping.
- Not all Australians are racist, sexist, homophobic, beer guzzling cunts like politicians would have us believe at the moment. Most are kind, open minded, progressive and inquisitive, which makes the present direction of political campaigning distressing.
- Ice cream tastes delicious, but it won’t solve your problems. Same goes for wine, chocolate and warm baked goods, but they sure do help.
- I always want to have sex at the most inappropriate times – reading my kindle in bed, is not one of them.
- Holidays always lead to more hand holding.
- Your children will want something as soon as you sit down for a cuppa or glass of wine.
- Confidence is a state of mind, mine is always fluctuating, so too is my waistline.
- Clothes shopping is never fruitful when you have a gift card.
- I always put on weight when I drink too much and eat crap food, but despite my knowledge of this fact I continue to do too much of both.
- When you leave work to raise children and then start freelancing you will not have enough superannuation.
- Cuddles from your kids are the best.
- Invariably I have a sudden urge to burp when being interviewed on radio, fart when standing in a lift and cough when in a cinema.
- Birthdays are bittersweet.
- Twitter serves a purpose, just avoid the assholes as they are just bored, earnest, judgmental pricks.
- Life is not like a box of chocolates. That is bullshit. Life is far more complex than that. And for the record I couldn’t give a toss is Forrest ran or not.
- Black walls in your house look awesome. Do it.
- There is always someone worse off than you, don’t forget that, but also don’t discredit your own issues.
- One thing is certain – whether it’s Tony or Kevin – politics is the winner and Australia the loser.
- I have needed trigonometry nor have I ever needed to dissect a mouse. It was right to walk out of that class in year 11.
- When you run a small business be prepared for feast and famine and keep a coin jar. You never know when you’ll need it to buy milk and put petrol in the car.
- Tattoos are fun who cares what other people think. Point here – who cares what other people think.
- When you think your blog post starts rambling, then stop writing.
What things do you know?